Airplane Mode (2019)

Ladies and

gentlemen I'd like to direct

your attention to the screen

in front of you.

We'll be showing a brief

safety demonstration.

While boarding the flight

please keep the aisle clear

- and find your designated seat.

- Argh!

In the event of a water landing

Chloe Bridges lips

can be used as

a flotation device.

Please enjoy one

complementary drink.

Please store

your carry on in one of

the overhead compartments.

If you need to flee the aircraft

beware of sharp objects

as they can puncture

the evacuation slide.

We ask that all seat

backs and titty tassels

are in their full

upright positions.

If you have to smoke,

please disable the lavatory smoke detectors

so as not to wake

the other passengers.

The flight attendants will now

demonstrate proper safety procedures.

Pull the cord

to inflate the safety chest.

As a reminder racial profiling

is strictly tolerated,

please report

any suspicious ethnicity.

If you do not have a selfie stick,

one will be provided for you.

Please keep your seat belts

fastened at all times

as we may experience

unexpected flatulence.

As a reminder there is no

crying allowed on this flight,

please silence your baby at this time or it

will be checked to your final destination.

Thank you for choosing

Koalair, koality you can trust.

At this time your portable

electronic devices must be set...

...to airplane mode.

You're on

the other side of the world,

how can we possibly

make this work?

Let's just make things simple

like when we first met

on Chatroulette.

When we first connected,

fell in love,

and the sparks flew

when I asked you those deep,

personal questions like,

what were those? Oh yeah,

- age, sex, location?

- Yeah.

Hey Logan, I'm ready to take

this to the next level.

Oh yes, here we go.

Come on, old friend.

Who are you talking to?

Just a second freshening up.

Okay, okay, babe, now

these are for your eyes only.

Yeah, don't worry babe,

it's just me.

Do you have any almond milk?

Uh... you were jerking off.

Come on man! You shouldn't just

burst into people's rooms like that.

And you shouldn't be jerking

off in the middle of the day

with your door unlocked

and all your friends downstairs.

Now, do you have

almond milk or not?

Come on man, it's next

to my socks, you know that.

Yo we're drinking up.

Sorry about that babe.

Okay.

- Who was that?

- Oh.

That would be Juanpa,

my foreign exchange brother

who's overstayed

his welcome by a decade!

What about your real

brother, Jake?

Oh.

Disney got him. Okay.

- Argh. The moment's ruined babe, don't you think?

- No, no babe, um...

Okay, just, okay... How about

this? Take a deep breath.

Asasasa!

Okay close your eyes, close your

eyes, that's right okay. Now...

Imagine our second date, remember all

the sexy shit I was typing to you?

I sent you that sexy

picture with the pineapple

over my penis and I blamed it

on auto correct.

- Yeah.

- It wasn't auto correct.

- I said it.

- Okay, okay.

My turn, imagine

we're together... alone.

I'm standing right next to you.

you can feel my body on yours

- and I whisper in your ear...

- Smile, you're on camera!

Lele,

what the actual fuck?

This is gonna be the best video ever!

Delete that now!

No, it's gonna get

a million likes.

It's not all about likes

you know.

What, are you fucking stupid?

Delete, delete,

delete it, Lele, delete it!

Logan, are you all right?

Suck it, bitch!

- Delete.

- I hate you!

- I hate you.

- You're girlfriend's a computer!

Jesus.

Oh my god.

Thanks buddy.

Sorry about that, babe.

Oh man can't get

any privacy around here.

- Okay.

- Hey Logan, you seen the email?

What! Ow! Ah!

- I'll talk to you later, Logan.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Fuck, man.

I was getting somewhere.

Bro what are you... what are you in

here doing man, I worry about you.

That's not your girlfriend,

she's not a real girlfriend,

she's a computer girlfriend.

Huge difference,

real girlfriend, ump-ump

computer girlfriend, eh-eh-eh,

you know what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

- And I hate to break it down

but your girlfriend

probably got a dick.

This convention is gonna

be the fucking tits!

What convention?

You didn't hear about #acon?

Bro it's the biggest social

media convention ever.

Yeah man, #acon.

Everyone's gonna be there.

It's gonna be awesome.

How do you not know about this?

Okay, uh, seriously,

what is #acon?

Who the hell cares,

people get laid at conventions.

- Yeah they do.

- Okay.

- Really?

- Huh.

- Is that like a thing?

- Is that what, was that English?

Like a thing,

sorry, I was born in Mexico.

Yeah, that's literally why they

invented conventions, so you can fuck.

It's like the only place you can cheat

on your wife and get a free gift basket.

The gift baskets,

uh, but the cheating.

- So this means...

- You can have sex finally.

Ooh.

No more virginity!

- Yeah Juanpa.

- I'm not gonna be a virgin, Logan!

Let's do it!

We're all gonna be on

the same fucking flight.

- Are you ready, man?

- What, no, no, no. What...

We...

Do we have to fly?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah Logan, yeah.

Uh, then I can't go.

No Logan, por favor not again.

Why can't you fly Logan?

You can

do it, Logan, you can do it!

It's gonna go on YouTube.

I don't know,

looks pretty high from up here.

You're wearing a helmet,

use your wings, you big pussy.

Alright, here it goes.

My foreign exchange brother

Logan is going to fly.

Oh shit!

Logan!

- How bad is it?

- You broke your femurs.

That's how I got these.

- Whoa.

- That's the dumbest story I've ever heard.

You ain't the fucking Wright

Brothers motherfucker, alright?

And pull your pants up,

the scars bring out the bitch in you.

You a nasty bitch,

you a nasty bitch.

Come on stop,

stop, guys, stop.

Guys, I'm not going and stop

jumping, we have termites!

Shut the fuck up

and jump with us!

The termites!

Termites?

Fuck the shitty termites.

Ain't anybody worried

about no goddamn termites.

Seriously, everyone needs

to stop jumping now!

Yo, stop being

a biggity bitch okay?

- Sorry.

- Ain't no termites gonna chew through

this floor on my watch,

I ain't gonna let it happen.

And second off you ain't

gonna tell a black man

that he can't jump,

I know my rights motherfucker

and I'm gonna jump.

I'm gonna jump!

I'm gonna jump.

- What the fuck?

- You guys good?

- What happened?

- My dick.

How did you land like that?

It's time to get over

your fear of flying, man.

If you won't do it for her,

do it for my virginity.

Please. Por favor.

Not gonna happen buddy, sorry.

Oh, it just would have been fun

to tear up Australia with you.

- Australia?

- Yeah, but it's fine,

I'll just call a hooker

she can do the job.

- It's in Australia?

- Yeah, bro, Australia.

Imagine all the stuff

we can do there, man,

- kangaroos, wallaby's, shrimp on the barbie.

- Shrimp on the barbie.

Marsupials, motherfucker,

dingo's eating babies,

and you get to see the girl

who lives in your computer.

Real titties, soft nipples, uh?

Hey, you talking about

computer titties in there?

Hey, let

me tell you something about

these Australian hoes.

They're crazy,

they're like boomerangs.

You throw them away

they come right back

and suck your dick, mate.

"Hey, can I suck your

dick, mate?" I'm like,

"Yeah, you can do it.

Now put your back into it".

- Alright.

- Uh-huh.

I know I'm gonna regret this.

But let's do it!

Oh, sh... Okay.

Ah! That's amazing, babe,

you're gonna love it here, I promise.

I dunno I heard actually

it's pretty gnarly.

- What do you mean?

- Like deadly spiders, and snakes and shit.

Oh yeah, we've got

a lot of spiders.

- But they're not like everywhere, right?

- Yeah, look it.

Holy shi...

This is my spider stick.

You're so brave for coming

to Australia, Logan,

- I can't believe you're coming.

- I am absolutely terrified but I'm coming.

Crikey, I have to go, bye.

Okay.

Time to say goodbye, old friend.

One more time

for old time's sake.

No. You're making this

harder than it has to be.

That's what I was hoping for.

- Fine, but don't tell Ariel.

- I never would.

- Thanks.

- That bitch is gonna die.

- What?

- I mean... Uh... I was made to fly.

Anyways, er,

rub me on your cock.

- What?

- Did I stutter?

- No.

- Then fucking rub me on your fucking cock!

Wee!

Super

psychedelic stuff from Stones

and the groovy A-M-V-N.

The moment...

You boys want some water?

- No, thanks man.

- Nah, we good fam.

Appreciate you.

- Then maybe some cocaine?

- Sure.

What?

Juanpa what the f... What the fuck?

I mean he's offering.

Shut, shut the fuck up.

- You're not doing cocaine on the way to the airport.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Holy shit. Yo,

Vitaly's on our flight.

Apparently he's gonna

Australia to stand trial.

Wait.

Why is Vitaly going to stand trial?

Look if you weren't

so knee deep in

computer pussy you'd

know what's going on.

I'll take it

from here, blind side.

Welcome to hell.

Augh! Two for flinching.

- Bye mom.

- Bye.

- Bye dad.

- Bye.

Have a great time.

- I'm gonna miss you, Mom.

- I'm gonna miss you.

Now that's

a close family.

Must be European.

Must be nice.

Must be down to fuck.

Hey, ya'll wanna

adopt a black man?

I'm gonna go shove

this weed in my ass.

I got to check in

with immigration.

- You good?

- Not really.

Hide your knives,

hide your drugs,

and hide your liquors

'cause we searching everybody around here.

Step out.

- Do you possess any explosives?

- Nope just this bomb ass pussy.

- How you going, buddy? That's adorable that bag.

- Here you go.

Thank you,

it's actually brand new.

- I just got it from the store.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

- Cool story man.

Be, be...

Come on man, what the fuck?

Next.

- What was that?

- Here you go.

Whoa.

My uterus.

- Hey where's Juanpa?

- Immigration.

Deported.

Hey, how are ya? Deported.

Oh sweet Jesus,

definitely deported.

Well, hello young man,

are you a citizen

- of these United States of America?

- Si.

- I smell bullshit, deported.

- No! Ow! Wait, look,

I wanna have sex,

just send me to Australia.

- That can be arranged.

- Ah, thank you, sir.

Whoa. Benny?

Oh my god, long time no see.

Um. Is...

he's supposed to be sleeping?

Chill, Logan.

Bag check.

What, why?

- Sir.

- I just have a laptop.

You've been randomly selected

by our advanced safety algorithm

for an extensive anal

cavity search.

I got 911 reasons not

to trust this guy.

Whoa. You know you have

to ex-ray that bird.

Well, he's, er,

like a lapdog, he can't fly.

I don't know

if that bird is a terrorist.

Check the damn bird. Thank you.

Sir, the bird, it's over

three fluid ounces,

you're gonna have to check it.

- Come on, he's got scoliosis.

- Hum.

Ma'am no twerking in my machine.

- I wasn't twerking.

- I'm just making sure.

No, you can't make me!

You can't make me!

No, no, no, no!

Ow, ow!

Okay, okay.

I'm scared.

Wait guys, wait for me.

Wait, stop, hey!

Wait.

As passengers in the emergency

row are you willing

and capable to assist

in the event of an emergency?

Alright, good enough.

No, no I'm fucking not!

Well, luckily for you

the passenger in 2E

just passed away so I can upgrade

you to first class if you like.

- Passed away?

- Mm hm.

What do you mean passed away?

One for you, there you are.

Yeah, mm-hum, hi there you go.

Alright,

there you are, sir.

Hey, Juanpa you made it.

They searched my cavities man.

I've never been to a dentist

like this before.

Alright,

move it along, here we go.

Keep going, all the way back.

Frosty, uh,

my last taste of America.

Ah, shit.

Ew.

Auto correct.

- Are you looking at naked pictures on your phone?

- No.

Yeah, yeah you were.

No, I... I mean, yeah I was

but it's my mom.

You're staring at a naked

photo of your mom?

- No! Yes. Look I... I mean...

- Oh my gosh.

- Ugh.

- Technically yes, it was my mom, technically

yes she was naked

but it's not like...

I don't think we've met,

hi, I'm Logan.

- Jenna.

- Hi Logan, I'm Jenna.

- What?

- Okay, well, I'm...

- I think we got off on the wrong foot.

- Cool.

Really looking forward

to the next 17 hours of this.

Yeah, me to.

- Let me just move in.

- If that helps.

Welcome aboard Koalair flight

1524 to Sidney, Australia.

- Koality you can trust.

- Trust.

This is your captain

Trussell with co-pilot Penis.

First of all

it's pronounced Penis,

I come from a proud

Celtic heritage.

- I'd like to thank you for choosing Koalair.

- Shut up.

We know you have many

choices in air travel

and we are always surprised

when you choose us.

- Argh.

- I think that went pretty well.

That was killer

annunciation bro.

You know I've been taking

this new speech therapy class

and I think my lisp is gone.

I can

barley notice it.

You're so handsome,

you look just like your daddy.

Even though he ran off

with that cheating whore

but your so cute, yes you are.

We're gonna find

you a new daddy.

Yes we are, with way more money.

So, er, you gonna

the social media convention?

- Oh, no, I'm visiting my sweetheart from the war.

- Oh.

He's on his deathbed

- and I promised him...

- Oh I'm sorry.

one more ride on

the merry go around.

Ah, cool.

Oh, by the way I don't

mean to scare you

but I sleep with my eyes open.

- Hello? Uh...

- Oh.

- Oh. Oh boy.

- Lick your lips.

- Oh!

- Uh-oh.

- Mwah.

- Whoa. Fucking A.

And I was left with...

these bad boys. Yeah.

Oh my god.

You probably think

I'm an idiot, huh?

Check this out.

Oh my god!

You have femur scars.

- Matching femur scars.

- Oh yeah, we have matching femur scars.

- This is weird, this is weird.

- It is weird,

most people don't even know what a femur is.

How do we...? Ah.

- Keep it down up there.

- It's fine.

How did you get yours?

Not to freak you out

but plane crash.

Like a... Like the fucking...

Uh...

What the fuck?

God, what the fuck.

I'm kidding,

I'm kidding, I'm kidding,

no one survives those, no.

- I like to play out in your head though. That was funny.

- Okay.

Aah.

- No.

- You got me good, you got me good.

You have a weird sense of humor.

But I like it.

- But how'd that happen actually?

- Ah. Drug deal went south,

they brought hammers, so.

Y... What kind of drugs?

Whoa look at all this leg room.

It's crazy.

I can't even reach

my tray table.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, fucking stop having fun!

Look at you, my

little fluffy haired cum scarf.

- Oh.

- Am I following along at the right place?

That seat back

isn't gonna be the only thing

in the upright position.

- I dunno.

- I'm gonna break you in

like a new pair of sneakers,

Vans, damn Daniel.

I'm gonna ride you

like a pogo stick

and fill you up like

you forgot to say when.

I'm gonna fist you at the Four

Seasons pool in broad daylight.

I'll stretch your tight

little ass like goatskin drum.

I can hear you.

Mmm.

Aww.

Oh, whoa, stop, stop.

Hey, you can do this.

Don't be

a little bitch, alright?

Please turn your cellular

and electronic devices

to airplane setting.

Hey fuck that.

I'd rather die than turn my shit off.

- I'm ready to die so you kill me motherfucker.

- We want full cell service!

Say what you want fools

That's right fools

I'd call you out

But it's not news

The world knows it

Your girl knows it

You not one of them

Tight dudes

We watch you

We know the type

Loud mouth like a motor bike

I don't know why

We let you live

Chalk it up to an over sight

A real man makes up his mind

Don't cry about it

He'll laugh about it

Real men live forever

Aw shit, we're going

the wrong way.

Oh my goodness, I believe

we are going

in the wrong direction.

We got to flip a bitch.

We will now flip a bitch.

The aviation term

for turning the plane around.

Coming about!

It's a video, got your dumb ass.

I fly all the time.

I can't talk right now mom,

I'm on a fucking plane!

- What the hell is going on?

- Aw.

What... Did you spill

on the console again?

No I didn't spill, dad.

We are getting

major satellite interference

- for some reason.

- No, that's no satellite interference.

Wait, do you think that they...?

It's the cell phones.

They didn't turn off

their cell phones.

Everyone knows

that you put your phone

in airplane mode.

Don't be so fucking naive Penis.

My name is Penis.

It is a Celtic name.

God damn it,

what the hell is going on.

Hey you motherfuckers, turn off

your fucking cellphones.

Dad!

We're gonna live forever

Flying ain't so bad.

Hey, look at my little doggie.

- Aw.

- Isn't he cute?

- Yeah, he is.

- Yeehaw.

- Yeah, that's my baby.

- That's good.

- Whoa, whoa.

- Oh.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- No. Um...

Who is that shirtless hunk?

I'm getting as far away

from that cheating prick

as possible, hence Australia.

Oh damn, my bad.

You know I know what it's

like to be cheated on.

Yeah this one time during

midterms this Asian girl

kept looking over

at all my answers.

Which I ironic you know

because she's Asian,

I should be cheating off of her.

But it... I see how

that's different now

that the words have come

out of my mouth.

What's your Instagram?

I don't have social media.

What do you mean

when you say that?

I mean like I'd rather just

be living my life instead of

- worrying if people are gonna like and comment on it.

- Wow.

- Are you with the #amegacon thing?

- No, no, kind of, no.

- Wow.

- No, no. I'm actually going to Australia

to visit my girlfriend

for the first time.

Your girlfriend's

a computer!

Fuck you, Lele.

Check out how pretty she is.

- Home screen.

- Whew! Home screen official.

Yeah, she's, she's gorgeous.

Hey, boys.

Oh my god. Oh!

I am so sorry. Oh jeez,

sorry, sorry about that okay.

Oh. Huh.

This would happen to me

on my first day.

Humph.

Attention, all

passengers. We have reached

our cruising altitude

of 38,000 feet,

it is now safe to

unfasten your seat belts.

Unfasten? You mean turn up?

Come here we go

Through the rhythm move

You ain't got a lot ass

You got a little bit though

Always ignore my phone

When I'm sick of a hoe

I take a white bitch

Back home when I'm alone

Sower's in the back seat

Louis riding shotgun

Girl on the rebound

I'm Dennis Rodman

These girls get mad

When they chasing me

True Hollywood story

Let's take some heat

Friends try to cock block

like Chris Hanson

Straight to the bathroom

I'm done dancing

Posers in the stall

'Cause I'm bring romance

I murder girls 69

Like Charles Manson

Bass getting louder

Sounds like a bullet

Nose full of powder

Mouth full of bullshit

Dick never prouder sly that

A girls fit tits falling out

Don't stop it's working

Undress us with your eyes

And you can't stop drooling

Keep it in your pants girl

Who are you fooling

But you may give you

A flight you'll never forget

You can't hear

my thoughts.

- Yes I can, Bruce.

- Stop it.

Oh score, oh my god,

alright, well.

Oh, hey, bulimic, get out of

there. that stuff costs money.

What... What am I...

I speak goat to,

you are a basic bitch.

What if I let you lick

one of my nipples?

I wouldn't fuck your brother

even if we was hot.

Okay, what about

if I told you I had a penis?

Here's the deal, you are

a skinny, ratchet ass,

basic bitch who goes

to Cancun for spring break

- and will put anything in her mouth, got it?

- What?

Take your brunette

extensions, your skinny,

weird, Selena Gomez

look alike bullshit,

- go get on your phone and go find a cock to suck.

- Well...

Shhh. You're a basic bitch,

get out of my liquor.

- Coffee, sir?

- Yes please.

Okay and how would you like it?

Like I like my women,

black and full of cream.

You kiss like my dad.

- Let's just pretend you didn't say that, okay?

- Okay.

There you go.

The fuck?

You're next.

Hey, guys just wanted

to let you know

I didn't see anything,

you're still going.

You're still going

at it. Okay, sorry.

I still didn't see anything.

Oh, ho-ho-ho. There you are.

Oh, you're an escape artist

just like your daddy.

Mm. Huh?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Where are my manners,

you must be hungry comrade, huh?

You want some banana, huh?

You want a little banana?

Here you go.

Why don't you eat that,

there you go.

Why

don't you take that all?

Yeah that's what I thought,

that's what I thought.

You want some cheese, pal,

you got cheese in Russia?

Oh, you got a built in

cheese grater right there,

look at you, huh, look at you.

What does that

taste like, borsht?

What else? Oh, Choco-taco.

I hope you're not dairy

intolerant there, Ruski.

How's that? Oh yeah, oh yeah.

What the fuck you

looking at, Aladdin?

Nothing, what's your problem?

I got no problem,

I'm just racist.

I do respect queers though.

They've been through a lot.

Now you got that gay marriage.

Used to be what they'd do

is illegal.

Now they got shows about it.

- I binge watch.

- Okay, dude.

Is he still looking? Yeah.

And that's how I lost 15

percent of my right testicle.

Yup, a dwarf in a Godzilla

costume, can you imagine?

I don't have to imagine,

you just told me every last detail.

There's nothing more I could

possibly learn about your balls.

Oh you'd be surprised, they could do a

whole 60 minute special on my balls.

Does your Internet girlfriend know

about your deflated testicle?

It's not deflated and no,

we have not crossed

that bridge yet.

Alright, I'm sorry I got to ask,

how can you love someone

you never actually met?

- She makes me snort.

- What?

She's funny, she's got

a great sense of humor,

- I know it's cheesy but...

- Bro, I could make you snort in two seconds.

No you could not, okay.

It's practically impossible

to make me laugh.

It takes someone creative,

it takes someone original.

- Got to make a good joke to make me laugh.

- Argh!

- Aw. Does this mean that you love me?

- Ah...

By the way, thanks

for pepping me up earlier.

I know it may not have seemed

like much but it really helped.

Yeah, yeah, no problem Logan.

Alright, I am going to

try to get some sleep

and hopefully

not dream of dwarfzilla.

Or swollen balls.

- Yeah.

- Am I right?

Yeah, okay goodnight.

I'm gonna nominate your

shoulder as my pillow, okay.

Did you really just wipe

your snot on my shoulder?

No.

Is this shit?

Oh, okay, thank God.

Hey, I have noticed that

the seatbelt sign has been off

for the last several hours

and I just think that... Oh!

That is very unprofessional

and unsafe and Jesus Christ

are you gonna suck his dick

all the way to Australia?

Fuck it! I'll finish him off.

Oh my god!

We need your assistance

in the cockpit, sir.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Sir, we really need your

assistance in the cockpit.

You're crazy

if you think I'm gonna let

this soviet psychopath

sit back here alone.

Sir, with all due respect

this is more important.

Do you know what this

guy's capable of?

He is the reason you have

your privates scanned

at the airport, and I hate

having my privates scanned.

I had my dick lobbed off

by a pottery wheel.

Now my dick looks like the stump

at the end of the giving tree.

Oh.

If you so much as flinch

I will make you a member

of the dick stump club.

There are three of us.

We meet on Wednesdays.

Damn it.

- What the fuck is on his mouth?

- I just thought they were making oral love,

- I had no idea that they were...

- Oh you had no idea.

- You had no idea?

- No.

TAS article 1219 clearly states

- no pilot shall engage in dick suckery without a spotter.

- What?

- Dick suckery?

- How would I know that?

- Cause that's your job.

- It's not my job. - Is everything okay?

Hey, go back to your seat. ok?

Go back to your seat now

or I'm gonna tase

you till you shit.

What happened to the pilots?

Hey look, just be quiet, okay,

we don't want

the rest of the plane

to know the pilots are dead,

we're fucked.

Dead, the pilots are dead?

- Holy fucking shit.

- I came in here. And I found them like that and I was like,

"Oh my god what do I do",

and then I went and got him.

- And now it's...

- Alright listen. Shut up, shut up

both of you calm down,

okay? Listen to me.

- Hey over here, over here, over here.

- Ok, ok.

Listen to me, okay, I'm trained

for situations like this.

You go get me a car battery,

a tourniquet, and a bendy straw.

I'll have these zombie

pilots flying in no time.

Sir, we don't have

anymore bendy straws.

- Oh fuck!

- Fuck.

- Alright.

- We are so fucked.

I'm just gonna have

to land this plane myself.

- You can fly?

- There are two things in my life that I love.

Flying jets and pottery.

- I gave my dick for it.

- Oh.

I'm gonna land this plane

and we're gonna be just fine.

Argh!

Holy shit.

- Ahh.

- Hey boss had a bit of radio silence

from flight 1524

from Los Angeles.

Oi, well you know what they say,

"Silence is golden", huh,

especially from Los Angeles.

Bunch of fucking hippies.

Hipsters. What the fuck

is Coachella anyway?

Where's my baby?

Is that a baby? Is that a baby?

Oh shit.

Have you seen my baby?

A baby.

Hi baby.

Have you seen my baby?

Have you see my baby?

What did I find?

Aw, you look starving. Come on.

Sir, sir... hi, as much as

I love that Versace blouse

you are cannot breast feed

that baby right here.

Really?

Well I think I can breast feed

this random baby

wherever the fuck I want.

- No you can't. No you can't.

- Okay?

God gave me nipples

and I'll be damned

if I don't use them, okay?

Okay, well,

little science lesson,

men don't produce breast milk

incidentally so, ah.

Aw, oh, no.

It's a miracle.

Oh God, you're a squirter.

Yeah, yeah milk facial.

Who wants a milk mask?

I didn't, uh, sir

I didn't realize.

Wait, open your mouth

one more time. Ah.

Oh, oh, okay. Oh.

What's that?

That's not diet Coke, bitch.

A little in the mouth,

okay never mind thank you.

Idiot.

Hi, how are you?

This is my baby.

You want some milk?

I got two of these motherfuckers

right here.

Oh shit, I have a boner.

Oh no, no, no, no.

Oh no, no, no.

No, sir, please wake up

sir, please wake up sir.

Please wake up sir, oh God, sir!

Okay, okay.

Alright look.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Please wake up, please wake up,

please wake up, please wake up.

Oh God, no, no, no, no.

Okay, okay, sir, please wake up.

Please wake up, sir,

one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Please sir, please.

Fuck!

Some day all of this

will be yours.

- Juanpa.

- What do you want?

It's getting to the best part,

she's putting the tongue,

oh, look at it, oh yeah.

Damn it, Log,

what do you want bro?

Can get that crow

bar back?

Juanpa, we need to talk.

Now. Now!

Oh shit.

You taking a selfie?

Yeah it's lit. Argh!

Should we try CPR?

No man, I already tried that.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

So this means

you made out with a guy?

- Juanpa, this is not the time.

- Was it nice? Um...

- What?

- It must be nice.

- Dude, focus please.

- Yeah.

They're actually dead, bro.

Aw, nah, nah, nah.

What, what should we do?

I don't know.

Maybe someone else has a plan.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

that's a great idea, Log,

who should we get,

oh Brittany Furlan?

Who wants a body shot?

Or the guy who makes me

doubt my sexuality, huh?

Maybe King Bach,

he's your buddy right?

Ah, ah, ah, ah!

Think straight.

You're right,

everyone will panic.

I need you to figure

this out, okay?

I need to put my seed into

a woman's vagina before I die.

Okay, you go do that,

you go do that,

because I'm probably

gonna crash this plane.

- Alright, one of us has to succeed, okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Okay.

- One of us will.

- One of us.

- Yeah.

Probably you.

Don't that feel

Real funky ya'll

Brittany, I want

to take a body shot.

Okay, come here, bitch.

Jenna?

Hey, Jenna?

- Hey.

- Oh, hey stranger, where you been?

Um... Can we talk for a second?

Are you seriously asking

if you can say something to me?

You're talking to me

while you're saying this.

So, so can we or...

Amber alert,

we've got a missing person

aisle in seat 2E, suspect,

looks like he's been crying.

I'm not crying.

Vitaly killed them and both

of the pilots are already dead

and I'm really scared right now,

'cause no one is flying

this plane right now Jenna

and I'm really scared and you're

the only person

I can trust to help.

Okay that's adorable

and a really good story

but we land in a few hours.

I'm gonna try to sleep - No, no.

- ...and you're gonna try to get your shit together.

- No, no, no.

Please, please, please, Jenna

please just follow me, okay?

You need to see this.

These pilots better be dead.

- Oh shit. I jinxed it.

- Yeah, I know right, what are the odds?

Hey, you wouldn't by chance know

how to drive a 767, would ya?

We're all gonna die!

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

Calm down, calm down.

Do you know how to drive a 767?

You unlucky bastard!

Okay.

Okay, breath Jenna

breath, breath, breath.

Okay, Namaste, Namaste.

Namaste, yeah, yeah,

that's right, that's good.

Okay, okay.

There's a murderer on this plane

and I'm gonna have

to die with this loser

and all his loser friends

but that's fine.

I know my god it's not fine,

I'm not even having a good hair day.

What about my open casket,

this plane will probably fuck my face up.

- Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna!

- I need my face, what!

We need to figure this out.

Now, for the last time,

do you know how to drive a 767?

- No, I don't know how to fly a 767.

- Come on.

So I'm just gonna

go back to my seat

and look at pictures

of my dog until we crash.

Until

we crash, we crash, we crash...

Hey buddy. I heard you took

quite the little crash.

Okay, let see what

the problem is.

You puked on my bones!

I'm so sorry, I don't

know what came over me.

Ew.

Are you okay?

What was that?

The flight attendants,

they'll know what to do.

Did you just fart?

But where did they go?

We got to find them.

Surprise.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What's wrong,

you don't like pranks?

We don't like what,

I couldn't understand you, what?

Amber alert, somebody's missing

a sense of humor

down in the luggage.

Amber Alert was my drag name.

Okay.

The flight attendants

are nowhere to be found

- but I'm sure everything's gonna be fine, right?

- How is it gonna be fine, Logan?

I don't know but they probably

figured out how to save the day.

We're in an emergency

right now, you can't,

you can't just sit there.

We need to do something.

Press this button and

the flight attendants will come.

Don't press the button,

that's not for emergencies,

- that's for fucking water.

- Please.

Wow, okay, at least have

the balls to do something.

Oh my god, I just

hit the jackpot.

How is this all free?

You're a mother.

- Oh, fuck.

- Give me these.

- Jesus.

- Damn, you have a baby.

You're supposed to have

seven of those but, you know.

Taking care of business.

You can do it,

Logan, you can do it.

If you won't do

it for her, do it for my virginity.

Use your wings

you big pussy, pussy...

What are you doing here?

I'm gonna drive this plane.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, do you

even know what you're doing?

No, but I'm a fast learner.

Great, well, I hope

that wasn't important.

Hey, hey check it out I think

I've figured out the radio.

Air traffic

control to flight 1524?

Air traffic control

to flight 1524?

Oh my god you're there, hello.

Aye, Benji here.

Been trying to talk

to you guys for ages.

Yeah Benji, we're here man.

I take it

you're not the pilots?

Uh, no, no,

my name is Logan Paul.

You're not a terrorist,

are you mate?

No, I'm

a social media sensation.

We're a bit full

of ourselves, aren't we, mate?

Why don't you stroke

the tip a bit more?

- What?

- What happened to the pilots, mate?

- They're dead.

- No worries, mate.

- What happened to the flight attendants?

- They're missing.

- Slight worry but don't worry, we'll take care of ya.

- Really?

Amber Alert, missing flight

attendants of flight 1524.

What was that? Aussie joke mate,

you wouldn't get

the reference. Okay.

It appears you guys

are a bit off course

so I'm gonna punch in

some new coordinates,

all you have to do

is engage the auto pilot

and the plane will

literally land itself.

Oh. That's great news, yeah.

You'll be a bloody hero, mate.

Yeah, yeah!

Now you've got to raise

the auto pilot lever

and engage the system.

Okay, what does it look like?

Big orange stick mate,

can't miss it.

Um, can you be a little

more specific?

It literally says autopilot

right on the thing there, mate.

Um.

Is that all it says?

Big orange lever,

center console, are you

bloody color blind?

It's the only thing

between you and certain death.

I broke it.

- I'm sorry what?

- I broke off the autopilot by accident.

Sir?

Sir, you there?

Crikey. It would appear there

are now a few more worries

than my original estimate

of no worries.

- How bad is it?

- You're fucked, mate.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

What do you mean I'm fucked?

That's a great question.

Well, you're

all types of fucked!

You're totally fucked,

you're completely fucked.

You're like a parrot

getting raped.

- You're fucked, I'm fucked.

- Yeah.

You're a little boy

in a windowless van,

you're fucked

and you're gonna die.

Speaking of which I don't

like talking to dead people,

it really bums me out

so I'm gonna cut out early

for lunch if no one minds

and, uh, grab a quick bite.

Right, feeling a bit peckish.

I mind, I definitely do mind.

Well, too bad you're going

to be dead soon, Benji out.

Alright, who wants tacos?

- What a dick.

- How could you break the autopilot?

It's not like

I did it on purpose.

Oh, oh you didn't

do it on purpose?

Well, that's great,

everything's just fine then,

right, 'cause Logan

didn't do it on purpose.

Give me this stupid thing.

No, no, no. Um, pay, pay no mind

to the sound of struggle.

We are fine and smooth as silk.

- Logan, they need to know.

- Jenna, no they don't.

I know you're probably terrified

right now and I am too,

but what you're doing

is not helping.

So just give me

the intercom, just hey.

Aw fuck, hey guys

if you look to your right

and also to your left

you will notice

the vast expanse of

the Pacific Ocean.

Oh, the ocean

that's so romantic.

Okay, take

your fucking shot, Juanpa.

Woohoo!

We have to do something.

Yeah, yeah I mean

it can be that hard, right?

We'll first we can move

these bodies I mean

they're really starting

to smell.

Yeah. Up we go.

Oh, I'm impressed.

Yeah, moving corpses is easy.

Oh no, just dry heaves.

- Okay.

- I won't throw up.

I'm sorry.

Nice.

Ew.

Get the fuck out of my way.

Have you seen my baby?

No?

Oh your breath stinks.

Have you seen my baby?

No.

Oh sir, have you seen my baby?

Your baby's missing?

Yeah.

I know your plight,

I'm a new mother myself.

I'll help you find him,

what does he look like?

Uh, he's a baby and he's white

and he's got little arms.

Is this your baby?

Hey.

Uh...

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Look lady, I'm not Dog

the fucking baby hunter.

Okay, this baby that

I found simply doesn't have

the wherewithal to raise itself

and that's where I come in.

That really looks...

Why you touch baby?

Who do you think you are?

Walking around drunk around

this plane losing babies.

You smell like

Jack Daniels's dick.

I'm so sorry.

You get the fuck out of our face

and you leave us alone.

Why do men hate me so much?

Because it's so easy.

Boo fucking hoo.

Do you know what would

be a hilarious prank?

If we poisoned every

passenger on this plane.

- No, no.

- Tell me where the emergency oxygen supply is.

Never.

- Never?

- Never.

- Never?

- Never.

- Never?

- No.

Tell me how I access the oxygen,

or I'll feed this dog cat food.

Never! God no!

Whoa!

The poor dog, no.

Good doggy.

That's not what he's

supposed to eat.

It's in the safety

glass by the door.

- Why did you tell him, bitch?

- It's by the door.

- You're going to pay for that.

- Thank you, thank you.

You're going

to pay for that.

Oh God, no.

One for me.

One for you.

What are you doing?

By the way it was dog food

the whole time.

What kind of a man feeds

a dog cat food?

How sick do you think I am?

It's just a prank.

You're probably not gonna

believe me when I tell you this

but you know most people

think I'm this huge slut.

But I've actually never

even been with a man before.

Really? Maybe I can

help you with that,

I've got some experience

in that arena.

Aren't you like 16?

Seventeen.

Oh sorry, 17, my god.

You're still illegal.

Hey, so what,

we're all gonna die.

- What?

- Okay, look my dick can't handle anymore.

The pilots are dead

and Logan's flying the plane.

- What?

- You're so cute, and funny, and Mexican.

That's not funny,

I, I took a picture.

- Who is flying the plane?

- Logan's flying the fucking plane, alright.

Listen, we've got nothing

else left to lose.

This is either the most

elaborate pick-up line

I've ever heard or we are

really all gonna die.

Either way you're fucked.

Good point.

Oh my god.

Fuck is going on

back there? Shit.

Son of a bitch.

Hey, how the fuck you sleeping through this?

Wake your ass up. I'm sure

we about too down in this bitch.

Wait, wait, I'm not on the pill.

Neither am I, neither am I.

Oh shit

Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah oh.

Oh, shit!

There's a solution

to any problem.

A wise woman once said,

"Shake it off..."

Simba!

Give this video a thumbs up!

Give me that selfie stick,

give me that selfie stick.

This is what panicking

looks like.

Yo, flight 1524 we are out here.

Your boy came back

like a movie star.

Follow me on Twitter at...

Fuck you Vitaly!

Brittany?

Brittany, Brittany, wake up.

Wake up, wake up.

You're being selfish

I need this.

I can tell you're breathing.

Are you there?

Leave Brittany alone.

Hey guys, Nick Bateman here.

Now, all my life

people would tell me

I'm really good looking.

That I turn straight guys gay,

lesbians straight.

Gay guys, gayer.

But you know what, there's more

to me than just a pretty face.

I'm also a junior pilot.

I don't know what's

going on back there

but I'm either gonna

save the day or die trying.

Fuck yeah man, fucking do it.

- Hooray!

- Hooray!

Yeah, let's do this,

let's do this!

Hey you, Yakuza.

Did you see anything, hum?

Jackie Chan?

Jackie, you, you see anything?

No? Shh.

Hello everybody,

it's the homosexual flight helper.

The cabin pressure

is still so low,

please put you oxygen

masks back on. Thank you.

Don't do it, Logan.

Vitaly kazed the oxygen supply.

Godspeed my little cream pie.

Jenna wait, don't put that on.

Why?

Something's wrong

with the oxygen.

How do you know?

I hear gay people.

I have to go find him.

Logan no. Please, don't.

Damn it.

Hey you.

Argh.

Ah, my dick.

My asshole, my asshole!

Argh!

I think it turned inside out!

Oh my god.

Nick!

Ah, great.

Not the vodka.

Ow!

Ow shit!

Holy shit,

what the hell are you doing?

Completing my master prank.

There's no social media

convention with all of you dead,

all of your followers

will be mine. Imagine the power.

Wait, you've been pranked.

- What are you talking about?

- It was just all a prank, bro.

Look closely, all these

people are acting, see?

Look at this guy.

Hello, I'm okay.

You have been pranked.

- Nick?

- See? Even that girls in on it.

Fuck you Vitaly!

Oh shit, I have a boner.

Argh! Wha... Wake up

you chiseled brute.

Oh, we are so fucking mcfucked.

This crazy Russian,

he's gonna crash the plane

and he threw out all

the parachutes except one.

Holy shit.

Is that dog eating cat food?

Logan, baby, it's dog

food in a cat food can.

Oh thank God.

With a hint of Nick Bateman.

It's just a prank, bro,

but I can assure you

your death will be very real.

Thanks for covering

my tracks, Logan Paul.

I owe you one.

No, no, no, no, no,

not the button, no, no that...

If I die I'm taking you

with me, you fuck.

Oh God I'm only 23, sort of.

I can't hold on anymore!

Tell my boyfriend Steve

to hide all the pornography.

Maverick, no, no, no!

Maverick!

That's my bird!

Oh God, thank you,

thank you, we're all together.

Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, hey.

Save

the day cum sponge.

Hey Bruce.

Any final advice on

how to land this plane?

If you can get to the cockpit,

engage the autopilot.

The plane will literally

land itself.

Okay. Erm...

Vitaly, where is Jenna?

Nice try, ha.

- Ah!

- Oh, shit, I am so sorry,

I thought I could

jump kick Vitaly

and save the day, it would

have been really cool.

Yeah, shut up and stop him!

Here.

- I hope you die!

- Argh!

This is just a flesh wound,

have a safe flight, captain.

- Oomph!

- Aww!

Oh shit.

You'll be missed.

Do you get it? The jet engine

turned him into mist.

Okay.

You got a plane to land.

I got this.

- I don't got this.

- Oh no, you do got this.

- I don't know if I got this.

- I mean if you don't got this, then who got this?

I guess I'm gonna

need to get this.

Oh this best going

to get got then.

It will, it's best gone got and

there ain't nobody better to go

- and get this than get me.

- You got to get it while the goings good.

Oh the goings good and I'm at

get it while the getting's good.

- You got to get it.

- I'm gonna get it.

What the fuck are you

people talking about?

- Get out there, come on.

- I'm a get it.

You're gonna get it.

Okay.

You can

do it, Logan, you can do it.

You're not supposed

to look down, just do it.

It's gonna go on YouTube.

YouTube, YouTube...

You two, you two, you two

need to land this fucking plane.

I did not get laid Logan!

- Jenna, do you have service yet?

- Er... Yeah. Yeah, yeah here.

Oh, well, this is great service.

Go on get the last

scoop out of the carton.

With the squatty potty you

get complete elimination.

- Skip the ad.

- I can't, it won't let me.

Yes, it will give you the best

poop of your life, guaranteed.

Argh! If I die

because of this shit!

Umm. They're good at pooping.

Hey guys, it Connor

and today I'm gonna

be teaching you

how to land a passenger jet.

Flying is easy

and with the right education

and guidelines almost anyone

can learn the secrets of flight.

- Amazing. Ok.

- It's easy.

All you have to do

is pay attention...

Nobody will watch

your stupid videos.

Leave me alone, Becky.

Fuck you, Becky!

I'm telling mom about

your abortion.

Fuck you.

Cool, okay, here are the basics.

This is the yoke, it's

like the steering wheel

but here's the thing

you need to know,

the controls are inverted

so, up is down, and down is up.

Oh.

This knob controls

the flaps.

The flaps give

the plane lift and drag.

When landing you want

the flaps fully extended.

Remember, were going

for maximum air resistance.

- Turn the knob.

- Okay, okay.

The most important part of

landing is of course the...

Connor, your sister said you're

looking at anime porn again.

- She's lying.

- That's gross.

- God damn it, Connor!

- Fuck you, Becky!

When you get your own house

you can masturbate then.

- Okay, let's just skip ahead here.

- Yeah, skip that.

Once you've done that it's

time to engage the auto pilot,

the plane with literally land

itself, how cool is that?

It's okay.

No, my phone.

Okay.

Hey what's that? What is...?

By the grace

of Steve Irwin

you're still

magically on course.

- Way to go, mate.

- Benji, is that you?

Sure is, mate,

and by the look of it

you're still not out

of the woods yet.

- What?

- You're still quite fucked.

- How fucked?

- Mate, you're missing an engine, you're running out of fuel,

and you're dropping like

a dead albatross with diabetes.

Now normally I'd say

check the cross winds,

20 knots from the southeast

but I'd bet my last dollar I do

you don't understand

a word of that.

Yeah no shit I don't, Benji.

Just try to land on the white

line, fly straight and pray

you don't explode

on contact. And Logan.

- What?

- You owe me a dollar you do.

- I fucking hate you Benji!

- Hey lose the tude, mate.

Benji, I swear to God

if I survive this I'm...

Oi, wait a second,

would you look at that?

That koala looks like

Hugh Jackman.

I got to go bag me that koala.

Man the fort, Hansen.

Fuck the baby, I don't

want to die.

Aw! What...

- What the fuck?

- Get this fucking monkey off me.

Don't touch her.

Oh my god, Logan, Logan.

- Logan, we landed.

- What?

- We landed.

- Oh shit, oh my god.

We did it.

Oh, wait we're not stopping,

why aren't we stopping?

All you have to do.

Connor!

Okay, once you've landed

you're gonna want to hit

the breaks with both feet.

Brakes.

Thanks for watching and

don't forget to subscribe.

Oh my god, you did it.

No Jenna, we did it.

Please don't ruin the moment

with your cheesy bullshit.

We should probably

get off this thing.

Following a hijacking

and an engine failure

on board flight 1524

an incredible chain of events

has led to the rescue...

Fuck her right in the pussy.

Awesome!

Aye, mate.

Benji?

You're actually alive.

I owe you a dollar I do.

Don't worry about that.

Genuinely surprised

to see you alive.

Took a lot of guts

to do what you did today.

Hey buddy.

Hey man.

So?

- I failed, Log, I failed.

- Aw.

- Oh, come on.

- I guess blue balls is real.

It hurts, it hurts man.

No, eh, eh, don't say that man.

- You're still alive.

- I guess.

Your foreign exchange brother

is still a virgin.

No man, my brother

is still a virgin.

Such a tender moment.

Hey.

Hey.

Eugene, is that really you?

It's been 70 years.

The last orgasm I had

was in Normandy in your mouth.

Consider it VD day.

Bombs away.

Uh...

So Australia's pretty nice huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Er...

- Does it like hurt? Aw.

- Ow, ow, no I'm fine.

- Okay.

- I got a bandage.

- You did good driving that plane.

- Thanks.

Couldn't have done it

without my co-pilot.

What did I tell you

about being cheesy?

- To not be cheesy.

- Yeah, definitely stop.

So I've looked everywhere

and I can't find him.

Aw!

I think it safe to say

that your baby's gone.

Have you considered

adoption maybe?

I mean no, I, I thought I'd find

him on the plane, you know?

Right. That's horrible.

Well, here's some good news.

When that plane was going down

and I thought we were all dead,

I had one split second to

ejaculate into this Tupperware

so I could let my seed live on.

I made this out of my penis.

Put it in your vagina,

make a new baby.

Oh my god,

this is the nicest thing

any man's ever done for me.

It's pretty great.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

But it still doesn't

bring my baby back.

What your old baby?

- Yeah.

- This is a brand new baby.

You ungrateful bitch.

Give me my seed back

you don't deserve it.

You do not deserve...

No I'm sorry, spit it out, spit

it out put it back in my vagina.

- Too late! It's too late!

- I'm sorry!

You've wasted my seed!

No, I'm sorry, put it back

in my vagina please.

Please, please.

It's going back into my penis,

I can feel it.

I have nothing else to live for.

I'm getting hard!

I guess this is goodbye.

Yup, I hope everything works

out with your girlfriend.

That was really brave.

- Come here.

- Bye.

Thank you so much,

I woke up on the toilet.

Jenna wait.

Thank you so much.

I don't even know you people.

- I'm your brother.

- I know you.

Okay, here we go.

You're excited?

- Yeah.

- This is it, right?

This is it. This is it.

Are you sure about this?

I've never been so sure

about anything in my life.

Logan!

Eh, yeah, it's me.

Er, I'm Logan.

Wait, you're not Logan.

- You sound different.

- Yeah.

I'm his foreign

exchange brother Juanpa.

- Mexico.

- So?

And I have an accent.

What? No, no, I can't

understand you though.

Can you say that again?

One more time, just,

just say it one more time.

Okay, okay, don't say

anything cheesy.

Jenna? It took me traveling half

way around the world to realize

- that I love you.

- I'm sorry your accent is just gnarly,

can you please just

repeat yourself?

Okay, uh, I guess you worked out

everything with your boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, the guac is extra,

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Who was

that guy, he's fucking hot.

You're gay,

you're a gay man, yeah!

Oh my god, so are you.

- No, no, I'm, I'm here for her, so.

- Logan?

But, but, but just one kiss,

that's all I ask.

Okay, fine,

but then you have to leave.

Now get out.

Wait, how did you

hear my thoughts?

Whoa yeah, I guess I always

thought you were a little bit...

- Yeah, take it off.

- Yeah.

- Hurry up.

- I will, I will.

Oh yeah. I'm going there.

- Oh yeah.

- Hurry up.

- Why can't you get it off?

- Yeah, yeah I got it.

- Is... er... aw... Wait, stop.

- Trying.

- Is this the right hole?

- No, no,

- no, no.

- No, no? Yes?

- No? Okay, yeah.

- There it is, yeah.

- Yeah, no, this one?

- Yeah, right there.

Okay, okay, okay.

Juanpa, Juanpa.

Oh, oh this feels amazing.

- I love your accent.

- I love your accent.

Talk dirty to me in Mexican.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait I, I have to know.

What happened, like,

did she have a penis?

What the fuck?

Daddy, I thought you were gone.

Oh my god, your dad is black.

I mean that's, that's cool, he's black.

I can't stop, I can't stop.

Daddy you have...

- Your dad's black.

- I'm adopted.

Oh my god, I'm adopted too,

we have so much in common.

Swear I'm gonna kill

your dumb ass.

I love you, Juanpa.

It's pronounced Juanpa.

I'm whooping your ass.

Run Juanpa, run.

Daddy stop, run, go, go.

Get it off, please!

I love you, Juanpa.

- I love you my awesome princess.

- You're just like your mother.

- I love you so much.

- Put some clothes on.

- I have clothes on.

- Nice to meet you, sir.

I'm gonna cut your dick off

and feed it to the drop bears.

Motherfucker

I'm going to kill you.

- Daddy, stop it.

- Get back here.

Run, Juanpa run!

Well not bad.

Jungle life

I'm living in the open

Native beat that carries on

Burning bright

A fire that blows the...

Hey Mr. Kangaroo,

I just had sex,

go tell all your kangaroo

friends I just had sex.

Come on give me a fist bump.

Alright, let's go,

let's go man, let's celebrate.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Today we're gonna learn

how to make a hang glider

out of cardboard,

duct tape, and a chin up bar...

No one's gonna watch

your stupid videos, Connor.

Logan Paul!

You're a fucking hero, Connor.

- Logan, I love you.

- Shut up, Becky!

- Let's make that hang glider, buddy.

- Yeah!

Argh! My femurs.

Aw! I can see my bones!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Night tonight

Give me the other

Give me the other

Chance tonight

Give me the other

Give me the other

Night to night

Give me the other

Give me the other world!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Ow!

Bitch, you saved my life.