Brock Baker: Goofy Wants YOUR Money

"Goofy Wants Your Money" By Brock Baker (Goofy walks up to Damien Sanders, who is making dinner) Goofy: Damien! Have you downloaded "Disney+"? Damien: No. Goofy: Why?! Damien: I don't want to! Goofy: Why?! (Later) Goofy: But, Damien, "Disney+" has all the classic movies like "Mr. Boogedy", "Candleshoe"... Damien: No. I don't want it. Goofy: "Fuzzbucket". Damien: That doesn't sound good. Goofy : Do not disrespect "Fuzzbucket" (Buttfucket)! (Later) Damien: I already have "Netflix". Goofy: Oh does "Netflix" have "Fuzzbucket" (Fuckpuppet)? Damien: No it doesn't. (Later, Damien is eating broccoli) Goofy: What if I bought "Disney+" for you and you could just pay me back? Damien: Is this a trick? Goofy: No. (Damien laughs) Goofy: You think that's fuckin' funny? Damien: I don't know what to say. No. I don't want it. Goofy: What? Do you need a script? Damien: No. Goofy: Yes and. (Damien laughs) Goofy: You think that's fuckin' funny?! I'm gonna break you in half! I'm gonna run you over with my train! I bought a train! I own a train now! I'm gonna tie you to the tracks and run you over! You think that's funny? Damien: I'm just tryin' to eat broccoli. Goofy: What?! Damien: I'm just tryin' to eat broccoli. Goofy: Shut the fuck up, Damien, and get "Disney+" and watch "Fuzzbucket" (Goddamn it) and "Candleshoe" and "Smart House"! (Later) Goofy: This isn't over, Damien. I'm gonna make you buy "Disney+". We need more money. Damien: I don't think so. Goofy: "Disney" wants to buy the sun. "Disney" wants to blow up the sun. Damien: What? Goofy: No more life. (Damien laughs) Damien: What? Goofy: Is this... This is funny to you? Human extinction is a game! Ya think that's a fuckin' joke?! (Later) Goofy: Listen to me, you piece of human garbage. You're gonna download "Disney+" and you're gonna like it. You're gonna watch all the original shows. "The Mandalorian", that Jeff Goldblum thing... Uhh... "Candleshoe". Damien: What is "Candleshoe"? Goofy: Shut the fuck up and just download the app! You can watch it on your phone or... TV...             Or other devices! (Later) Goofy: I'm glad you find this funny, Damien. Didn't you watch "Goofy Wants His Money: The             Complete Saga"? Remember what I put you through?! Damien: I remember. Goofy: Why are ya laughin'?! I'm gonna poke your eyes out with my nose! (Goofy pokes Damien's left eye) Goofy: There's one! (Then, his right) Goofy: There's the other! Now you're blind! (Later) Goofy: This isn't over, Damien. I'm gonna make you download "Disney+" and you're goin' to             enjoy "Candleshoe", "Mr. Boogedy", "Fuzzbucket" (Jonlovitz), and all the rest. Damien: Okay. Goofy: I'll be back. (Damien laughs) Goofy: It's not funny. (Goofyd leaves) THE END.